If you were to pull up your calendar right now, would you like what you see?
Would you feel in control, like you were the one who made this amazing schedule, and hot damn, it looks good?
Would you be pleased by the variety and quality of the opportunities that are available to you?
Would you be just the right amount of nervous, because you’ve committed to things that push you out of your comfort zone?
Would you feel connected to yourself, other people, and the greater good?
Would you feel confident, knowing it would all get done?
Would you feel relaxed, knowing there’s plenty of breathing room, especially if something unexpected happens?
When my clients express that they want to spend their time more intentionally, I recommend that they commit to only one of the following three options, at any given time:
- Things they want to do
- Things they’re willing to do
- Things they won’t do
But most of us love to slip in a secret fourth option: Wallow.
It sounds like: “Really, really don’t want to do but ugh, they’ll gonna be annoyed at me if I don’t, so I guess I’ll do it, even though I’m honestly not willing to, but whatever…”
Or “I mean, I said I would, and I definitely should, because I’ll just be a lazy procrastinator if I don’t, but I can’t make myself and now I feel worse.”
This fourth option is why so many people are not living the lives they want to live.
It breeds resentment, disempowerment, frustration, and helplessness—not empowerment, delight, confidence, relaxation, and connection.)
Breaking out of the “wallow” option is tough, and completely worth it.
After all, this is the quality of your daily life we’re talking about.
So ask yourself: What percent of the things in your life do you want to do? What percent are you willing to do? What percent won’t you do? And what percent do you need to take out of the secret fourth category, and put into one of the other three buckets?
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