Want to love how you spend your time? This simple framework is for you
I recommend that you commit to only one of the following three options, at any given time:
- Things you want to do
- Things you’re willing to do
- Things you won’t do
But there’s a catch. Most of us love to slip in a secret fourth option: Wallow.
Wallowing sounds like: “Really, really don’t want to do but ugh, they’ll gonna be annoyed at me if I don’t, so I guess I’ll do it, even though I’m honestly not willing to, but whatever…”
Or “I mean, I said I would, and I definitely should, because I’ll just be a lazy procrastinator if I don’t, but I can’t make myself and now I feel worse.”
This fourth option—wallow—is why so many people are not living the lives they want to live.
It breeds resentment, disempowerment, frustration, and helplessness—not empowerment, delight, confidence, relaxation, and connection, like the other 3 options.
Breaking out of the “wallow” option is tough, and completely worth it.
After all, this is the quality of your daily life we’re talking about.
So ask yourself: What percent of the things in your life do you want to do? What percent are you willing to do? What percent won’t you do?
And what percent do you need to take out of the secret fourth category, and put into one of the other three buckets?
Here’s how to take specific action on this:
- Pull up your calendar for this week, and ask yourself: “What percent of things here do I want to do? What percent of things am I willing to do? What percent of things won’t I do? And is there anything that is currently in a ‘wallow’ category for me?”
- Delete anything in the “won’t” category and re-allocate anything in the “wallow” category to one of the other three categories.
- For everything that still remains on your calendar, ask yourself, “Why is it important for me to do this?” Ask yourself this until you uncover reasons that you like. You’ll know by how you feel.
- Lastly, ask yourself, “How does this task or project help me become more of who I am and who I want to be?”
That’s how you transition from fueling yourself into action using dirty motivation, vs clean motivation.