Let’s talk about the shame slide.
(Did anyone else just imagine the old board game Chutes and Ladders?)
I’ve been noticing something in myself and my clients recently: There’s a big difference between feeling shame and acting from shame.
Feeling shame means noticing and naming it (“This is shame”), processing it in our bodies, and watching our thoughts, without beating ourselves up.
Acting from shame usually means hiding, avoiding, numbing, isolating, and beating ourselves up.
Thanks to the wisdom of one of my clients, I’ve been thinking about the difference like this: Feeling shame is like standing at the little platform at the top of a slide and observing.
Acting from shame is like hopping on the slide and spiraling down into full-on shame land.
It often happens so fast that we’re not even aware that we’re moving from feeling into acting.
So next time you feel shame, give yourself a few seconds to stand at the top of the slide and decide if you really want to whoosh on down. I highly recommend hanging out on the platform instead, at least for a little bit.