Reframing holidays, managing money in a relationship, + the word “abundance” with James Lenhoff

Back by popular demand on the podcast: James Lenhoff! You all loved James’ straightforward, no-nonsense approach to finances so much that I invited him to join me again.

I brought him your questions about money in relationships, how to take ownership of your finances once and for all, how to handle a raise, and what he spends money on with his family to improve their lives.

A quick rundown on what we cover in the episode:

  • Reframe the way you approach the holidays by asking this one question
  • How to find a compelling purpose for your money
  • Why following expert money advice isn’t always the best idea
  • Wanting from a place of abundance vs scarcity
  • James’ take on what to do if your partner is in debt, if people should have a “Fuck Off Fund,” why things shouldn’t be 50/50 in a relationship, what to do when you get a raise, and the first step that you should take if you currently have no money management system in place
  • Why “I didn’t sign up for this” — and other seemingly innocent little thoughts can be so detrimental
  • What laughter has to do with coaching — and how to know if you’re not coachable
  • What to track instead of your income
  • The best time to get into the stock market
  • How productivity saves money and how to learn how to delay gratification


The 8-minute exercise that I mention on the episode:

For each category below, spend 1 minute (no more — set a timer) coming up with something that you want that feels totally impossible for you to have. It can be physical or non-physical; a thing, a belief, an experience, etc. Anything goes, but just one thing per category:

  1. Self confidence
  2. Career
  3. Finances
  4. Productivity + time management
  5. Community + Relationships
  6. Health and wellness
  7. Creativity
  8. Physical environment (city, home, possessions, etc)

Use this sentence to guide you: “It feels impossible, but in my [category above], I want __________.” You can also use this one: “If I had a magic wand, I would wish for ____________.”