Do you struggle with your morning routine?

Part of you wants to have an incredible morning routine that you can brag about to all of your friends; the other part of you feels resistance to any kind of routine.

This is totally normal; I hear it all the time.

On a recent mini session, Christian* came to me feeling like his morning routine wasn’t what he wanted it to be or what it “should” be.

In 30 minutes, we understood exactly what stood in his way.

He’s been running what Ramit Sethi calls an invisible script. It’s a belief system that runs in the background, that you don’t even know is there.

Christian’s invisible script in the mornings was, “Someone might need something from me,” which creates a feeling of anxiety for him. And here’s where that leads him: To picking up his phone, doing incoming tasks that feel urgent, and neglecting his ideal morning routine.

As I pointed out: He ends up continually prioritizing other people’s needs over his own and never stops to ask “What if I need something from me?”

(And here’s a real brain-breaking question, which resonated with Christian: What if no one ever truly needs anything from you? Sit with that one for a bit.)

Here’s his solution: Instead of focusing on creating a picture-perfect, Instagram-worthy morning routine, he’ll simply ask himself, “What do I need today, right now?”

He’ll remember to do this by putting a Stickie note on his phone on night, because he’s guaranteed to see it in the morning.

If this seems overly simplistic, remember this: It took us 30 minutes to get to the root of the belief that drives his actions in the mornings. And he has work ahead of him. He has to practice showing up for himself. It won’t happen overnight. (See what I did there? #morningjoke).

What are your invisible scripts?

It’s a trick question — they’re invisible to you. That’s why I recommend bringing in a trained expert to help you see them. (👋 Hi. I’m here.)

*Name changed to protect anonymity.