Pique Emails

  • Productive vs unproductive feelings

    In another blog post, I talked about the power of being able to create any productive feeling, on demand. This is what gets your work done, and has you enjoying the process, too.

    It may have caught your eye that I use the word “productive” instead of “positive” to describe feelings.

    Productive feelings move you closer to your desired results; unproductive feelings keep you stagnant or move you further away from your desired results.

    But productive feelings don’t always feel pleasant; and sometimes unproductive feelings feel damn good. This is why I don’t say “positive” or “negative.”

    For example, justified can feel pretty great in the moment but not get you what you ultimately want, while acceptance can feel uncomfortable but fuel your progress. Processing grief feels awful but moves you forward, and craving relief can feel nice but leads to giving up on your dreams. Being absorbed in endless hours of social media scrolling feels pleasant but often has a net negative effect in your life, while nervousness feels unpleasant but keeps you stretching and growing.

    All feelings are natural. First, we welcome and acknowledge them; then we separate the helpful ones from the unhelpful ones.

    Here are some very common unproductive feelings, and how they likely show up throughout your week:

    • Bored: “This is sooo tedious.”
    • Resentful: “I don’t want to do it.”
    • Inadequate: “I need to prove myself.”
    • Helpless: “This is too hard.”
    • Justified: “This can wait”
    • Resigned: “I can’t make it work.”
    • Lackadaisical: “I guess this is the best I can do.”
    • Rigid: “It’s not going according to plan.”
    • Overwhelmed: “There’s too much to do.”
    • Ashamed: “I didn’t do it right.”
    • Confused: “I have no idea where to start.”

    How would your business change if you were able to halve the amount of time that it takes you to pinpoint and move through any unproductive feeling?

    And in the process, we’ll get you creating more productive feelings, like adaptable, resilient, tenacious, determined, accepting, and trusting.

    To get started, join the Pique email list below.You’ll receive invitations to future Monday Hour One 5-Day Challenges and free Monday Hour One workshops.

    You’ll also get the free guide: 5 Reasons Your Projects are Half-Finished Yet.


  • Any feeling, on demand

    Monday Hour One—the time management system that I teach my clients—is about cultivating the ability to generate any feeling on demand, in order to do what needs to be done.

    It’s so easy to get caught in the weeds with a time blocking system like Monday Hour One; endlessly tinkering with your schedule and trying to get it “right.”

    If you’re doing that, you’re missing out on the single biggest benefit: The relief that comes from knowing that you have the power to create any productive feeling that you need to get the task at hand done.

    Let me give you some examples:

    When I’m writing a blog post like this, the most productive feeling I can feel in that moment is connected. I can feel instantly connected to my community (that’s you!) by focusing on thoughts like “I know what they’re struggling with,” “If they’re here, they want my help,” and “I feel like I already know them.”

    When I’m doing my weekly income and expenses report, the most productive feeling in that moment is committed. I can feel this instantly by thinking “I am committed to the profitable growth of my business, and that requires me to keep an eye on my finances.”

    When I’m working on my new Ask a Coach booklet for my clients, the most productive feeling in that moment is confident. I can feel a boost of confidence by thinking “I know my shit; I’m a subject matter expert on procrastination.”

    When things get uncomfortable on a consult, the most productive feeling in that moment is courageous. I feel courage when I think “I am willing to say the hard thing.”

    When I’m babysitting my niece and nephew, the most productive feeling in that moment is present. Thinking “These days are limited” snaps me into presence on demand.

    When I want to take every Wednesday off as planned, the most productive feelings that I can feel on the other days of the week are focused and relaxed. The thoughts “My only job is to work on what’s in front of me” and “I have time for everything I want to do this week” create a sense of relaxed focus for me.

    Coaching? I want to feel bold.

    Being coached? I want to feel receptive.

    Creating content for social media? I want to feel inspired.

    Running an intensive? I want to feel energized.

    Taking a half-day to rest when I’m zapped, even when I need to rearrange my calendar? I want to feel accepting.

    These on-demand feelings are possible for you, too (even if they feel far away right now).

    To be clear, I’m not perfect at this, and I don’t feel lovely all of the time—far from it. I often forget that I even have this superpower, so I waste time wallowing. I’m not immune to addictive social media apps pulling my focus away from work or “Ugh, I don’t want to go to the grocery storeeeee” whining.

    But once I remember that I have the ability to generate any feeling on demand, I relish the sheer delight and empowerment it brings me.

    And I appreciate it even more, knowing that it wasn’t always like this for me. I used to feel totally out of control; at the whim of my emotions; and battered around by my own unpredictability.

    So, if you’re where I used to be: Give yourself some grace; my guess is that nobody has ever even told you that this was possible, or you’ve tried but it still feels hard.

    That’s totally okay; start where you are, and let your brain envision the magnitude of this skill rippling out in your life, long-term.

    What if, over time, we could double your ability to produce any productive feeling on demand?

    If you’re in, be sure to join the Pique email list below. You’ll receive invitations to future Monday Hour One 5-Day Challenges and free Monday Hour One workshops, where you’ll learn how to generate any feeling on demand. 

    You’ll also get the free guide: 5 Reasons Your Projects are Half-Finished Yet.


  • “You tell me”

    I have a button-nosed angel of a niece (who also happens to have a rebellious, mischievous streak). She’s almost three, and I adore her.

    I particularly love watching her navigate the world.

    She used to point to something and, in her adorable little toddler voice, ask me “Titi, what is it?”

    I used to give her an answer. But one day I paused and just said, “You tell me.”

    And wouldn’t you know it, she could tell me exactly what it was.

    I realized that she didn’t need me to give her an answer; I could “hold space” for her to find her own answers.

    (Tell me you have an aunt for a life coach without telling me you have an aunt for a life coach 😂)

    This increases her confidence, resourcefulness, and self-reliance way more than me telling her the answer.

    It’s the same thing with coaching.

    I can give you answers all day long, but you miss the opportunity to develop your own opinions, your own critical thinking, and your own strategies.

    So, when you attend a Pique workshop or join Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, don’t expect me to give you an immediate answer. Expect me to help you find your own.

    And warning: This process might annoy you; you might roll your eyes; you might insist to me that you truly don’t know the answer (in a very whiny voice, might I add). But I promise that we’ll have a good laugh about it.

    As a client said to me recently, “…you never let up…”

    She’s right; I don’t.

    Trust it; this is 100 times more valuable for you in your life long-term than me spouting out the answer.

    So, if you’d like to experience the breakthrough moments that come from learning to give yourself incredible answers to your own questions, be sure to join the Pique email list below.

    You’ll receive invitations to future Monday Hour One 5-Day Challenges and free Monday Hour One workshops.

    You’ll also get the free guide: 5 Reasons Your Projects are Half-Finished Yet.


  • A neon arrow pointing at your next breakthrough

    The promise of Monday Hour One—the time blocking system that I teach—starts simply enough: Get more done, in less time.

    You plan; you calendar; you do.

    But then….? Shit gets real interesting, real fast.

    Because anything you resist, don’t show up for, or settle on in your Monday Hour One schedule is like a neon arrow pointing us directly to your next breakthrough.

    Monday Hour One is data collection—and we need data in order to solve problems.

    We want to know that you’re:

    …constantly giving yourself a ridiculous amount of work that you can’t possibly finish (and then feeling terrible about all you didn’t accomplish)

    …saying yes to a whole bunch of shit that you don’t actually want to do

    …underselling yourself by telling yourself that it’s “good enough” to put small, truly achievable goals on your calendar (even though you ache for more)

    …overpacking your schedule because you’re afraid of being bored, lonely, and restless

    …not showing up for your plans, because your out-of-control negative emotions are running the show

    …feeling blindsided by predictable things, to avoid having to set tough boundaries

    …constantly tinkering with your schedule, so you don’t have to do the work, put yourself out there, and risk rejection

    …allowing other people’s requests to fill your calendar, so you can avoid thinking about the fact that your dream is to run your own show (and that terrifies you)

    None of this means that Monday Hour One has gone wrong; it means that everything is right on schedule.

    It means that we’ve found the real crux of the problem, and can finally solve it.

    Without Monday Hour One, we wouldn’t know these things with such clarity.

    So, once you’re using Monday Hour One, if things don’t go according to plan or you’re worried that you’re not doing it “right,” remind yourself: “This is data collection.”

    And lucky for you, I’m trained at sorting through data, to get to the root of the problem with laser-like precision.

    So, if you’d like to experience the same breakthrough moments that my clients experience, be sure to enter your email address below. You’ll join the Pique email list and receive invitations to future Monday Hour One 5-Day Challenges and free Monday Hour One workshops.

    You’ll also receive the free guide: 5 Reasons Your Projects are Half-Finished Yet.


  • Do you like what you see on your calendar?

    If you were to pull up your calendar right now, would you like what you see?

    Would you feel in control, like you were the one who made this amazing schedule, and hot damn, it looks good?

    Would you be pleased by the variety and quality of the opportunities that are available to you?

    Would you be just the right amount of nervous, because you’ve committed to things that push you out of your comfort zone?

    Would you feel connected to yourself, other people, and the greater good?

    Would you feel confident, knowing it would all get done?

    Would you feel relaxed, knowing there’s plenty of breathing room, especially if something unexpected happens?

    When my clients express that they want to spend their time more intentionally, I recommend that they commit to only one of the following three options, at any given time:

    • Things they want to do
    • Things they’re willing to do
    • Things they won’t do

    But most of us love to slip in a secret fourth option: Wallow.

    It sounds like: “Really, really don’t want to do but ugh, they’ll gonna be annoyed at me if I don’t, so I guess I’ll do it, even though I’m honestly not willing to, but whatever…”

    Or “I mean, I said I would, and I definitely should, because I’ll just be a lazy procrastinator if I don’t, but I can’t make myself and now I feel worse.”

    This fourth option is why so many people are not living the lives they want to live.

    It breeds resentment, disempowerment, frustration, and helplessness—not empowerment, delight, confidence, relaxation, and connection.)

    Breaking out of the “wallow” option is tough, and completely worth it.

    After all, this is the quality of your daily life we’re talking about.

    So ask yourself: What percent of the things in your life do you want to do? What percent are you willing to do? What percent won’t you do? And what percent do you need to take out of the secret fourth category, and put into one of the other three buckets?

    Once you’ve let this whole idea shake up your world, be sure to enter your email address below. You’ll join the Pique email list and receive invitations to future Monday Hour One 5-Day Challenges and free Monday Hour One workshops.

    You’ll also receive the free guide: 5 Reasons Your Projects are Half-Finished Yet.


  • The cherry on top (Monday Hour One vs other time management systems)

    Do you ever compulsively consume information about productivity hacks, tricks, and systems (collectively, productivity porn, as we call it in the biz)—and then struggle to implement all of it long-term?

    This one’s for you.

    I’ve studied a lot of time management tools and systems, and they’re all brilliant. And yet, I always felt like something was missing until I learned about Monday Hour One.

    But it would be a lie to make it seem like it was an immediate love affair. I could intellectually grasp the value of Monday Hour One, but that didn’t stop me from complaining to my coach about it. I was convinced that I “should” learn how to do Monday Hour One, but it sounded awful and constraining and rigid, so I resisted it for a long time.

    But once I was hooked, I was hooked.

    Now, every single time I coach a client on their Monday Hour One practice, I feel so damn appreciative to The Life Coach School, the creators of this system.

    It addresses so much of what I was missing in the past:

    ✅ It helps you understand why you’re doing the things you’re doing, instead of just telling you not to do them and letting you suffer through white-knuckling

    ✅ It addresses your feelings, and how you’re unconsciously reacting to them all the time if you’re not aware

    ✅ It asks you to be fully responsible, instead of offloading responsibility to other people, deadlines, software, or apps

    ✅ It has a built-in self-evaluation mechanism, so perfectly following the system isn’t required or expected—but learning is

    ✅ Similarly, there’s a “bounce-back” process, so that you can come back to the system any time you fall off—no harm, no foul

    ✅ It’s built to fit with your life circumstances—it doesn’t ignore that your life has things you need to consider, like kids, a chronic illness, a spouse, a sick parent, or balancing a job with a side gig

    ✅ It not only takes into account your unique life circumstances, it helps you accurately forecast what your week will look like, anticipate what “unexpected” things might pop up, and plan for what you’ll do in the event that you need a contingency plan

    ✅ It’s actionable, meaning you know exactly what steps to take and when (5 simple steps, every Monday morning)

    And best of all, Monday Hour One layers on top of all of the knowledge that you’ve already gleaned in the past about productivity. That means that none of that was a waste. (Isn’t that a relief?)

    This is just the cherry on top, to bring it on home.

    I’ve helped hundreds of people with their Monday Hour One practices, and it would be an honor to help you with yours.

    When you join the Pique email list below, you’ll get invitations to future Monday Hour One 5-Day Challenges and free Monday Hour One workshops.

    You’ll also receive the free guide: 5 Reasons Your Projects are Half-Finished Yet.


  • How to make it stick

    One of the biggest reasons that people are reluctant to adopt a new time management system like Monday Hour One or a practice like deep work is because they’re worried that it won’t stick—and they’re sure that they’ll beat themselves up if it doesn’t.

    Notice that this assumes three things:

    • If it doesn’t stick, it was a waste
    • If it doesn’t stick, you’ll make it mean bad things about you
    • You don’t have control over whether or not it “sticks”

    I want you to make a pact with yourself that addresses the first two points: Promise yourself that you’ll get value from the experience and that you’ll support yourself along the way. 

    Take a bold stance and tell yourself that you’re no longer available for shaming yourself or writing off entire processes as failures. No matter what happens, you’ll learn valuable things about yourself, your desires, and your preferences.  

    With your new mindset, let’s dig into the last piece: The idea that you don’t have control over whether or not it “sticks.”

    Start by trying on the thought: “It’s my job to make it stick.” 

    I’m going to show you how. 

    The only reason that processes and tools “don’t stick” for people is that they start focusing on what’s not working and stop doing what is working.

    You choose to focus on and believe your own self-sabotaging stories, so when you feel discouraged or embarrassed, you give up on the system altogether, instead of digging in and problem solving.

    This is very normal, and it requires practice to unwind. 

    Ask yourself to commit to “100 reps”: 100 times that you’ll work the system or process; be willing to fail hard without beating yourself up; intentionally pull your attention away from what’s not working; and refocus on what is working and why it’s working.

    Here’s the most efficient way to look at what is working, and why: 

    “What was I thinking, feeling, and doing when it was working?” 

    Hold yourself to generating a thorough, informative answer.

    With this approach, you can’t not get better at making these systems and processes stick, long-term.


  • What to do instead of relying on external accountability

    When my clients first come to me, they tell me they’re looking for accountability.

    I tell them that I’ll do them one better: I’ll teach them how to be accountable to themselves.

    When you are constantly relying on others to compel you into action, you miss the opportunity to learn how to generate your own motivation, show up for what’s important to you, and enjoy your own successes—even if no one else is around.

    Relying on external accountability is a spotty strategy , and it’s the long way around, meaning you can get to your desired results better and faster if you learn to be self-accountable. 

    This isn’t to say that collaborating with others—on joint projects, as workout buddies, or to do goal check-ins—isn’t valuable. Camaraderie is fun, valuable, and breeds creativity and intimacy. 

    The problem is when you’re over-reliant on another person or an external deadline; you’re offloading your responsibility on to them and unintentionally allowing them to dictate what’s important to you. 

    Here’s a test: Would you show up for yourself, even if they didn’t?

    Your answer to this question will tell you everything you need to know.

    An added benefit of breaking your need for external accountability—besides, y’know, achieving your wildest dreams—is that it actually strengthens your relationships. No one wants the burden of carrying another person’s dreams and desires, on top of their own.

    So, let’s talk about how to become internally accountable. 

    First, sell yourself on the benefits: 

    • Building self-trust
    • Consciously and deliberately deciding what you want to do with your time
    • Getting your most important solo work done, no matter what 
    • Delivering things on time (no check ins needed)

    Then, notice how you talk when you have external accountability vs when you don’t:

    • I wouldn’t miss it for the world
    • This is going to be so fun
    • This is important
    • I don’t want to let them down
    • It’s non-negotiable
    • It’s happening, no matter what
    • I’ve got to get it done now
    • I don’t want to do it
    • It will be boring
    • This is tedious
    • I can do it later
    • It’s not that important
    • It’s just me anyway
    • It’s fine if I don’t do it

    The thoughts on the left tend to create feelings of commitment, dedication, joy, energized, trusting, inspired, and excited; while the thoughts on the right tend to make you feel insecure, self-judgmental, justified, and uninspired.

    Here’s the kicker: Neither of these lists is more true; they’re just what you’re currently practicing thinking. 

    And when you look at the two lists side-by-side, it becomes crystal-clear why you think you need external accountability: You’re using it to solve for lackluster thoughts, instead of changing your thoughts.

    I can teach you how to change your thoughts, so that you don’t need external accountability anymore.

    From now on, it will be a fun bonus, not a necessity. How freeing will that feel?!


  • How to prioritize (and why you’re not doing it yet)

    I’m coming in hot on the topic of prioritization. I get asked about prioritization all the time, but it doesn’t deserve the amount of time and attention that people give it.

    If you’re wondering why I dedicated an entire blog post to it, given my stance, read on. 

    Let’s debunk a pervasive thought today:

    I don’t know what to prioritize.

    You actually do know what to prioritize. 

    I know this because I’ve coached a lot of people who have told me they had no idea what to prioritize, but—with a few well-worded questions—we got to the truth: They know exactly what their priorities are, but feel discomfort acting on those priorities.

    So, the real problem is that when you name your priorities, you might not like your own priorities, you might be uncomfortable actually planning around them, or you might be ashamed to realize that you’re not living in alignment with them. 

    You act confused and overwhelmed, instead of dealing with the repercussions of acknowledging and owning your priorities. Totally normal, but solvable.

    If you want to live in line with your priorities, some tough tweaks are often required:

    • Saying no to people and risking upsetting them 
    • Turning down opportunities
    • Owning what’s true for you, even if it’s unpopular or weird to others

    I’ll share a very real example of this from my life: During the pandemic, I had abundant amounts of free time, and I wanted to devote almost all of it to my business. I told myself that this wasn’t noble; I should be spending more time talking to family and doing hobbies. I convinced myself that the pandemic was “supposed” to show me how work wasn’t everything and family was what mattered—so I often felt guilt for working on my #1 priority at the time: My business.

    Here’s how to break the habit of telling yourself that you don’t know what to prioritize:

    1. Do the Top 5 Priorities worksheet, and commit to telling yourself the truth. Reassure yourself by reminding yourself that these are your top priorities right now, and they’re always evolving
    2. Cross-reference your calendar, and notice what’s on your calendar that’s not on your list of 5 priorities
    3. Be with yourself with whatever emotion comes up. Resentment, obligation, fear, frustration, and shame are all common
    4. Ask yourself how much work you’re willing to do to re-align your actions to your priorities. There’s no right or wrong answer; just the truth

    And if you’re convinced that you don’t have time or energy for all of your priorities, I want to offer this: You might not need to give up as much as you think you do.

    Be sure to fact-check your schedule before you make assumptions. You might have more time than you thought, or you might be able to make some small tweaks to how efficiently you do things to free up more time and energy. 


  • Chronic underestimation, and what to do about it

    You’re here because you tend to chronically underestimate how long things take, and overestimate what you can get done in an hour, a day, or a week.

    People can almost always self-identify as misguided time optimists; meaning that if this is a problem for you, you know.

    But you might act confused about how you can solve it. 

    Let’s put an end to that confusion.

    In order to make a problem compelling enough to solve, you first need to understand the true cost of it in your life.

    Chronic underestimation leaves you feeling perpetually disappointed in yourself, because you’re never meeting your own expectations.

    You end every day and every week feeling defeated, embarrassed, and frustrated, instead of satisfied, calm, and pleased. 

    You’re also likely always pushing deadlines, rearranging things, and feeling stressed. That’s a lot of lost time, energy, and social capital.

    It doesn’t have to be like that.

    The solution is to be willing to feel uncomfortable at the beginning of the week, by being honest with yourself about how long things take and what you can truly take on. You will need to dump, delegate, and delay results and tasks. You will feel like you’re passing up opportunities. You will want to keep believing that you can get it all done.

    You can’t, and you won’t. 

    Being honest with yourself will suck at first, but it will make your life 1000% more calm, manageable, and rewarding. (I promise.)

    Here are 3 solutions:

    • Beware of hope: Feeling hopeful feels good in the moment, but it actually backfires when it comes to properly estimating your workload for the week. If you are feeling hopeful about your week, use it as a cue that you are likely putting too much on your plate.
    • Channel a helpful feeling: The most effective feelings to tap into when you’re planning are certain, committed, and acceptance. This sounds like, “I’m willing to let go of what I don’t have time for, and I’m all in on what is on my calendar this week.” These feelings will remind you to plan realistically for the reality of your situation; not optimistically. This is the one and only place where optimism is not welcome.  
    •  Get curious: The antidote to confusion is curiosity. Confusion sounds like “I don’t know how long things take” and “I don’t know how to solve this problem”; this eventually leads to resignation. Curiosity sounds like “How can I figure out how long things take?” and “How can I solve this problem, once and for all?”

    Lastly, be sure to remind yourself of this: A life-long habit of chronic underestimation can actually be broken immediately—you just need to commit to always telling yourself the truth, from here on out.

    But it might take you some time, and that’s okay, too. Just remember that you deserve all of the benefits that come from nipping this habit in the bud.