Pique Emails

  • 100% capacity (Feeling overwhelmed? Read this)

    If you frequently tell yourself that you have “so much to do,” read on.

    You think you’re overwhelmed because you have so much to do, but there’s actually something else going on.

    Overwhelm happens when you think you have so much to do AND you don’t believe you have the time, energy, or talent to do it.

    If you believed you had so much to do and could get it all done, you’d feel calm, maybe even energized.

    I’m not here to tell you “Good news! You can get it all done.”

    The reality is, you might not be able to get it all done, based on your current capacity.

    So, here’s how to stop overwhelm:

    • Either realize that you do have enough time, energy, and talent for everything you want to get done right now (and stop telling yourself that you don’t), or
    • Realize you don’t have enough time, energy, and talent for everything you want to get done right now—and ruthlessly dump, delegate, and delay accordingly.

    Think of it like having a bucket that represents your unique 100% capacity.

    (You can trade this bucket in for a bigger one later, but for now, this is your bucket.)

    Anything that you mentally cling on to above your 100% capacity is unnecessarily torturing yourself.

    These expectations that you can’t possibly meet aren’t helping you grow and strive. They’re causing you burnout and angst.

    Those are your only two options. If you want to reduce overwhelm, you must pick one, and proceed accordingly.

    You might feel shame, guilt, or serious discomfort in the process, but on the other side awaits a calm, empowered certainty that you might not have felt in a long time.

    Just ask my client, Jane* who recently said: “I am able to see that I was doing this to myself [holding on to things beyond my 100% capacity]. I was allowing myself to honor ridiculous requests [from clients] on impossible schedules and it just wasn’t working anymore. I’m done.

    I CAN choose what work I accept and which requests I am able to honor.”

    Cristina

    P.S. If you want my hands-on help with these, let’s spend 8 weeks together, figuring out your unique 100% capacity.

    It’s only available in my program, Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, the meeting place for soon-to-be former procrastinators who want to finish their half-done projects in a fun, reliable, sustainable way. 

    *Name changed for anonymity

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  • “Yups” and “Nopes”

    There are two different kinds of procrastination that are likely happening in your business right now:

    1. The “Yups”: You procrastinate on things you definitely want to do, and there’s something in the way of doing them.
    2. The “Nopes”: You procrastinate on other things because you know they’re not things you should really be doing, and there’s something in the way of not doing them.

    The “Yups” are the things that you know are important for your mental, emotional, physical, and intellectual health, and the health of your business. The needle movers. The activities with the highest ROI. The creative outlets that feed your soul.

    Whether you’re aware of it or not, you’ve been finding plenty of ways to justify not doing them.

    The “Nopes” are the things that you secretly know are low-value, are not a good use of your time, or truly aren’t the best next step. They’re the “shoulds” that you don’t really want to do.

    These are the things that you’ve been trying to talk yourself into doing, to no avail.

    When you join my program, Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, I’m going to teach you 4 quick, easy frameworks:

    • Want to, willing to, won’t, wallow
    • High-value vs low-value stoplight
    • Do, dump, delegate, delay
    • The 4-day workweek exercise

    When you apply these frameworks, it will become crystal clear what’s a “Yup” and what’s a “Nope.”

    When you know this, you can change it, by getting the “Yups” done and dealing with the discomfort of letting go of the “Nopes.”

    It won’t always be easy, but here’s why you’ll want to do it: Because you’ll know without a shadow of a doubt that what you’re doing at any given time makes sense and is valuable.

    In practice, here’s what it looks like (names changed for anonymity):

    For Miguel, this looked like giving responsibility back to his team members to prepare their own reports, which reduced his own prep time significantly.

    For Lydia, this looked like taking time to garden in the morning—to cultivate calm, presence, and relaxation before she got into her work for the day.

    For Shonda, this meant reducing her workload so that she gets out of the office at 5pm, no matter what. (With very few exceptions.)

    For Bryan, it meant dropping out of an accountability group that wasn’t rigorous and valuable anymore.

    For Katrina, this meant letting her clients take responsibility for their session notes, instead of her taking the time to type up, organize, and send lengthy follow up notes.

    For Tim, this looked like dropping the shame-inducing story of his “30,000 unread emails” and his self-induced pressure to get to Inbox Zero, and just focusing on the 20 emails that actually needed his attention.

    For Veronica, it meant taking a macaron making class, just for fun.

    For Claudia, it meant reviewing her own workload, presenting her findings to her project manager, and only accepting new work that didn’t put her over 100% capacity.

    For Cindy, it meant ending a volunteer position at an organization that didn’t align with her passion anymore.

    You deserve a life filled with the satisfaction of getting your “Yups” done and the relief of letting go of your “Nopes.”

    I can help you when you join Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, the meeting place for soon-to-be former procrastinators. 

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  • The Follow Through Formula

    If you’re stuck in a pattern of procrastination, you probably know this cycle well: You put something off, then you feel guilt and shame about having put it off—so you continue to delay it even more.

    This is what we call the procrastination vortex.

    There is one practice that helps nip the procrastination vortex in the bud in the easiest, most pain-free way—yet most people don’t intuitively think to do it.

    It’s the practice of retroactively studying—with curiosity, not self-judgment—your procrastination, why it happened, and how you can change it next time.

    If you’re accustomed to being self-critical, it will be tough to snap your fingers and channel curiosity instead.

    Which is why, when you join my program, Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, I’m going to teach you the Follow Through Formula.

    It’s a step-by-step, 7-question process for studying your own behavior, understanding with self-compassion why you made the decisions that you did, and then consciously choosing the path you want to take next time.

    If you are committed to really listening to yourself, you will tell yourself the truth, and the truth is the only way out of procrastination.

    When you use the Follow Through Formula repeatedly, you’ll build your resourcefulness and resilience muscles—and procrastination can’t stand up to those two.

    (Seriously—they are two of the most underrated skill sets for self-proclaimed procrastinators to master.)

    If you’re a metaphor person, think of the story of the person with the pothole. The first time they don’t see the pothole and they fall in. The second time, they see the pothole and fall in, but get out more quickly this time. The third time, with a lot of attention and effort, they avoid the pothole. The fourth time, they take a different road.

    Ready to stop falling into the pothole of procrastination?

    I can help you when you join Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, the meeting place for soon-to-be former procrastinators. 

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  • What NOT to expect from procrastination coaching

    When we work together, I want you to know what to expect.

    Or—for the sake of this post—what not to expect. They may surprise you, if you’re new to my kind of procrastination coaching.

    I am not here to help you become more disciplined. (Which, by the way, literally means “to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.”)

    Because I’ll do you one better—I’ll show you the power of dedication, how it feels so much better than discipline, and how it’s actually more effective long-term.

    I am not here to help you figure out how to bribe or shame yourself into action, in order to do shit you don’t want to do, at times you don’t want to do it, in ways you don’t want to do it.

    Because I’ll do you one better—I’ll show you how to double down on what you want to do, make space for the things you’re willing to do, and navigate the discomfort of dropping the rest.

    I am not here to debate the merits of different project management softwares or calendar systems with you.

    Because I’ll do you one better—I will help you understand what’s happening in your mind, so you can make any software or tool work for you.

    I am not here to give you external accountability.

    Because I’ll do you one better—I will teach you why you’re currently relying on external accountability, and how to create self-accountability instead. (And then sprinkle in camaraderie, just for fun.)

    I’ve seen too many self-proclaimed procrastinating business owners suffer for too long trying to implement strategies that waste time or make them feel worse. No more.

    Overcoming a procrastination habit isn’t a cake walk, but it doesn’t have to suck, either.

    It’s time to bring more joy, dedication, clean motivation, and self-assurance into your anti-procrastination journey.

    I can help you when you join Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, the meeting place for soon-to-be former procrastinators. 

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  • Doing it right before the deadline

    “I only get things done right before the deadline.”

    Many of my clients come to me with this, and they think it’s a very big problem.

    Before we go to work to solve it, I always ask them to consider that it might not be a problem at all.

    Because you can choose to be a person who (calmly) gets things done right before the deadline.

    Because of our societal conditioning that shames procrastinators, most people don’t even consider that this is a viable option—but it is.

    (From the mouth of a Procrastination Coach 😳 )

    Once I present this option to my clients, I often hear: “But then I’ll be stressed and anxious for weeks leading up to the deadline, and under intense pressure once I’m actually doing the work.”

    But those feelings of stress, anxiety, and pressure aren’t created by the deadline; they’re created by the way you’re handling the deadline.

    And you can learn to change the way you handle deadlines.

    Anxiety, stress, worry, and pressure are created from thought patterns like:

    I really should have gotten started on it by now. (Please. I know I’m going to leave it to the last minute, like always.)

    I have such a good amount of time between now and the deadline.

    Maybe I have too much time before the deadline.

    I don’t know where to start.

    Shit, I should have started this earlier, I don’t have enough time now.

    If those are the thoughts running through your mind, it makes total sense that you’d feel stressed.

    Instead, imagine that these are your thoughts:

    I take the time to understand the scope of my work, and plan accordingly.

    I commit to leaving myself just enough time to get it done well, while anticipating and planning for “unexpected” obstacles.

    I am capable of figuring out a good starting point.

    I choose to notice my concerns, and calmly talk myself through them.

    Between now and when I’m choosing to do the work, I will practice feeling calm, relaxed, and trusting.

    It takes practice to become the person who believes these powerful thoughts, but it’s the surefire path to reducing your anxiety, worry, and stress about deadlines.

    Because when these are your thoughts, it literally doesn’t matter when you get the work done—because you know you will.

    You can choose to be a person who gets work done right before the deadline, or a person who gets work done well in advance of the deadline.

    Whoever you want to be, I can help you when you join Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, the meeting place for soon-to-be former procrastinators. 

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  • The satisfaction of crossing something off your to-do list

    Do you often find yourself crossing small, unimportant off your to-do list but not getting traction on the bigger, high-impact tasks that will move the needle for you in your business?

    This one’s for you.

    I can’t count the number of times that someone has told me, “But it’s just so satisfying to cross things off my to-do list!”

    When I hear someone say this, I always pause for dramatic effect and respond:

    “You know what’s really satisfying? Finishing your projects, achieving your wildest dreams, and reaching your full potential.” 😳

    Think about it: Every time that you give yourself a tiny hit of pleasure from checking something unimportant off your to-do list, you’re robbing yourself of the real pleasure of getting traction on what’s actually important to you.

    (Let that sink in.)

    But the solution isn’t to grit your teeth and willpower your way through a big task, delaying any ounce of gratification until you finally finish.

    It’s to derive satisfaction from the act of doing your most important work, not just being done with your work.

    And deriving satisfaction from the process, not just the end result? It’s a decision that you can make at any time.

    Here’s how to do it in three simple steps:

    • Notice when you’re defaulting to doing trivial busy work just to get a hit of satisfaction
    • Direct yourself back to your highest-impact work
    • Learn to increase the amount of satisfaction that you feel while working on those important things

    Learning to increase your level of satisfaction starts with asking yourself questions like these, and answering them:

    • How could it be true that doing the hard, complex work is more gratifying than doing the easy, urgent work?
    • How can I be more engaged with the work that’s in front of me?
    • How can I do this work in a more interesting and creative way than usual?
    • How can I double the amount of satisfaction that I feel while doing this work?

    As a result, you’ll get the deep satisfaction of knowing that you’re moving your most important business projects forward. (The projects that will increase your impact; reach more potential clients; allow you to scale more efficiently; save you time; and generate more revenue for you.)

    P.S. If you’d like help reconciling your internal conflict, the best place to be is Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, the meeting place for soon-to-be former procrastinators. 

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  • Disagreeing with yourself

    How often do you find yourself doing one thing while telling yourself that you should be doing something different?

    Checking your email while telling yourself that you should be working on that important project.

    Watching Netflix while shaming yourself for everything you didn’t get done during your workday.

    Hitting snooze multiple times while telling yourself you need to get up.

    Helping someone out while telling yourself that you should be focused on your own work.

    Telling yourself you should be present with your kids—while you scroll social media.

    Put simply, this is disagreeing with yourself, and this kind of unresolved self-conflict is the most common reason for procrastination—and the least talked about.

    (Until now.)

    Because when you feel internal conflict and you don’t know how to resolve it, the easiest thing to do is avoid it—by procrastinating.

    And when you procrastinate, you experience even more self-conflict, and the vicious cycle continues.

    November’s free Anti-Procrastination Challenge is the perfect place to start noticing and resolving your internal conflict.

    During our two weeks together, we’ll measure one thing, and one thing only: The percent of time you spend disagreeing with yourself.

    When you measure and manage just this one metric, magic starts to happen throughout your day.

    You’re honest about your wake up time. (No more snoozing, unless you really want to.)

    You intentionally table the projects you’re not working on anyway, and make a plan for the ones you’re going to finish.

    You enjoy your Netflix time, instead of guilting yourself about everything you didn’t get done earlier.

    You actually celebrate your accomplishments, instead of dismissing them and immediately moving to the next thing.

    You’re fully present with your family, instead of mentally running through your to-do list.

    This is when your brain relaxes; your creativity increases; your most strategic thinking emerges; and your best, most joyful work flourishes.

    P.S. If you’d like help reconciling your internal conflict, the best place to be is Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, the meeting place for soon-to-be former procrastinators. 

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  • Want to, willing to, won’t, wallow

    Want to love how you spend your time? This simple framework is for you👇

    I recommend that you commit to only one of the following three options, at any given time:

    1. Things you want to do
    2. Things you’re willing to do
    3. Things you won’t do

    But there’s a catch. Most of us love to slip in a secret fourth option: Wallow.

    Wallowing sounds like: “Really, really don’t want to do but ugh, they’ll gonna be annoyed at me if I don’t, so I guess I’ll do it, even though I’m honestly not willing to, but whatever…”

    Or “I mean, I said I would, and I definitely should, because I’ll just be a lazy procrastinator if I don’t, but I can’t make myself and now I feel worse.”

    This fourth option—wallow—is why so many people are not living the lives they want to live.

    It breeds resentment, disempowerment, frustration, and helplessness—not empowerment, delight, confidence, relaxation, and connection, like the other 3 options.

    Breaking out of the “wallow” option is tough, and completely worth it.

    After all, this is the quality of your daily life we’re talking about.

    So ask yourself: What percent of the things in your life do you want to do? What percent are you willing to do? What percent won’t you do?

    And what percent do you need to take out of the secret fourth category, and put into one of the other three buckets?

    Here’s how to take specific action on this: 

    1. Pull up your calendar for this week, and ask yourself: “What percent of things here do I want to do? What percent of things am I willing to do? What percent of things won’t I do? And is there anything that is currently in a ‘wallow’ category for me?”
    2. Delete anything in the “won’t” category and re-allocate anything in the “wallow” category to one of the other three categories.
    3. For everything that still remains on your calendar, ask yourself, “Why is it important for me to do this?” Ask yourself this until you uncover reasons that you like. You’ll know by how you feel.
    4. Lastly, ask yourself, “How does this task or project help me become more of who I am and who I want to be?”

    That’s how you transition from fueling yourself into action using dirty motivation, vs clean motivation.

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  • 6 procrastination-inducing emotions

    Right before you procrastinate, something predictable happens. Every single time, without fail.

    A feeling.

    A thought enters your brain (often subconsciously), and that thought creates a feeling in your body.

    It might be a feeling that, in the moment, you don’t even notice is happening.

    But if it’s a feeling that you’re uncomfortable with, your automatic reaction will likely be to try and avoid it, by procrastinating.

    There’s tons of procrastination-inducing emotions, but these are the 6 most common that I see with my clients:

    Inadequacy. Overwhelm. Confusion. Boredom. Frustration. Apathy.

    So what do you do with these feelings, instead of avoiding them?

    My answer isn’t sexy: You start by noticing them.

    Not by changing them or avoiding them; but by acknowledging them, and noticing exactly what you’re tempted to do when they hit.

    You might think that you need a more complex, intricate strategy.

    But you don’t, not yet.

    This really is the most important first step.

    Noticing your feelings is as simple as this:

    When I get bored, I get up and take a walk instead of staying in my seat and doing the work I had planned to do.

    When I get frustrated, my first reaction is to blow up, think “This shouldn’t be happening,” then distract myself with social media. (Instead of taking a deep breathe and working through the frustration.)

    When I feel confused and I’m telling myself I don’t know where to start, I delay the task. (Instead of figuring out where to start or asking for help.)

    When I’m feeling ashamed or inadequate, I believe the story that I’m not good enough, and I work on things that make me feel better about myself. (Not what’s actually most important.)

    When I’m feeling apathetic, I tell myself that I can do it tomorrow and then busy myself with something else that seems more interesting right now. (Instead of reminding myself why I’ve already decided to do that thing and sticking with it.)

    Observe yourself “out in the wild,” then come get my help with the next step in Half-Finished to Done, LIVE the meeting place for soon-to-be former procrastinators. 

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  • “I just need to do it” (why this thought backfires for procrastinators)

    “I just need to DO IT.”

    How often do you try to cajole yourself into taking action by telling yourself this?

    “I just need to do it” might seem like sound, reasonable, even helpful advice to give yourself.

    But this approach will almost always backfire.

    Because, for most people, telling yourself “I just need to do it” produces shame, defensiveness, and inadequacy.

    It quickly snowballs into unproductive, self-defeating questions like “So why the heck haven’t I done it yet?” “It’s really not that hard, what’s wrong with me?” and “Why can’t I get this?”

    And what happens when you’re swimming in this growing shame, defensiveness, and inadequacy?

    If you don’t know how to acknowledge and stay present with these feelings, you avoid them…by procrastinating 🤦🏻‍♀️

    So you think that you’re giving yourself motivating advice, but you’re actually exacerbating your problem of inaction by shaming and blaming yourself.

    Pause for a minute to let this sink in: “I just need to do it” tends to lead you further away from your desired action, not closer to it.

    So, how can you get yourself into productive action instead?

    1. First, tell yourself the real reason why you haven’t done the thing yet. (“I was scared of what other people might think,” “I was overwhelmed by how much I had to do,” “I was confused about where to start,” “It didn’t seem important to me in the moment,” etc.)
    2. Validate and comfort yourself—like you would do for someone else.
    3. Tell yourself exactly how you’ll solve that problem this time around. (Try this: “When I feel ____________, I will ____________.”)
    4. Then, calmly explain to yourself the true cost of not getting it done, as well as the benefit of getting it done.
    5. Lastly, tell yourself why, how, when, and where you’re going to get it done.

    This is the art of taking action, sans shame.

    These 5 steps might seem cumbersome at first, but with practice, they’ll become an ingrained habit that you can use to get yourself into productive action at any time.

    P.S. If you’d like help implementing this 5-step strategy, the best place to be is Half-Finished to Done, LIVE, the meeting place for soon-to-be former procrastinators. 

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