Are you taking massive action…or passive action?

Let’s back up. Early on in my coaching programs, I explain to my clients the difference between massive action and passive action.

It’s a concept we come back to over and over again, as we take the work deeper.

Think of any half-finished project that you have. It’s half-finished because of passive action.

You can think of passive action as taking the wrong kind of action or hanging out in inaction. It’s letting things happen, “without active response.”

Here are some examples of passive action: You procrastinate. You don’t schedule time blocks to work on your project. You lose interest and you don’t bother figuring out how to generate more motivation. You let other people’s priorities take precedence over your projects, instead of saying no. Your attention is scattered in many directions and you don’t learn to refocus. You think you’re incapable of finishing and don’t break through your mental blocks. You compare yourself to others.

The antidote to passive action is massive action.

Massive action, unlike passive action, invites you to take action over and over, constantly pivoting as needed, until you finish your project. Every single falter is just an obstacle, and all obstacles have corresponding strategies for overcoming them.

This is so important: Massive action is not about the amount of time you dedicate, it’s not about giving up sleep or self-care, and it’s not about exhausting yourself. It’s about learning to take action until you finish your project, period.

If the term “massive action” freaks you out a bit—good! That reaction will surface important, valuable information.

So: Do you spend more time in massive action or passive action in your life?

I teach this concept in more depth in all of my coaching programs, then we apply it immediately. 

The first response I got back when I sent out the link to the Half-Finished to Done Intensive sales page was this: “That weekend looks intense.”

Old me would have gotten insecure and worried that it was too intense.

New me? Says “Hell yes it’s intense.” This isn’t for the faint of heart.

Here’s the truth: You’ll be tired after the two-day Half-Finished to Done Intensive. You’ll probably want a heck of a lot of sleep afterwards.

But here’s what’s also true: You’re probably already tired.

You’re probably tired from procrastinating, avoiding your project, resisting, feeling guilty, and never feeling completely “off,” even when you’re trying to relax.

Here’s the difference: After the intensive, you’ll still sink into bed feeling depleted…but this time, you’ll also feel relief, satisfaction, accomplishment, and a feeling of completion.

You’ll also likely wake up the next day energized, instead of full of dread.

This reminds me of a story my mom told me awhile back, that’s been stuck in my head ever since.

Back in the day, she was thinking about joining an intensive program, similar in intensity to the Half-Finished to Done Intensive. Worried about the program, she said to the instructor, “I hear it really uses you up.”

The instructor looked her square in the eye and replied, “What are you saving yourself for?”

I extend the same question to you: “What are you saving yourself for?”

I’m all about rest periods in life, but I’m also for jumping in headfirst, sprinting, and letting yourself fall into bed at the end of the day feeling that satisfied exhaustion that only real, meaningful growth gives you.

Are you in? Head here to learn more about the two-day Half-Finished to Done Intensive. I’d love to have you join.

In this email, I’m sharing the case study from a recent client consult. I know I always love reading real-life examples of other people’s breakthroughs. I’m curious: What aha moments do you have about yourself by reading her story and applying the lessons to your own life?

You’ve seen me talk a ton recently about the power of finishing projects. How you become a different person in the process of finally completing all of those projects that have been sucking up your mental space and energy.

But sometimes? It’s not about the project.

I recently spoke to someone who declared that she has a “project addiction.” She was self-aware enough to know that starting new projects feels super rewarding, which makes her ongoing, day-to-day tasks (like writing up casework notes) pale in comparison.

While the projects seem shiny and novel, she views the casework notes as tedious, and she feels inept when she sits down to do them.

(Um, yeah, I’d choose the projects, too!)

So, our work together wasn’t solving for the projects; it was in understanding that she keeps dabbling in the projects because it keeps her from having to face head-on the feelings that the casework notes bring on.

But here’s a secret: It’s not actually the notes that make her feel inept. It’s her thoughts about the notes.

Thoughts like “I’m slower than my peers.”

“It should be easy.”

“I can’t give myself good advice [to solve this.]”

Like brains do, her brain then seeks out evidence of her belief systems and—no surprise—she finds it.

Thought #1

Watch how that first thought plays out: “I’m slower than my peers.” Interestingly, she sets up coworking sessions with a coworker, who writes up notes faster than she does, and then uses that as evidence to beat herself up about the fact that she is in fact slow.

The solution: As my former business partner used to say, “Keep your eyes on your own paper!” (Literally, in this case.)

Don’t compare yourself to someone else, especially someone who has twice as much experience on the job. It’s so incredibly unhelpful, and ironically, stopping to constantly compare how much slower you are makes you slower.

Try on thoughts like, “I’m open to believing that it’s okay to be slower,” and “I’m slow at some things and fast at others.”

Thought #2

And her second thought: “It should be easy.” Seems like an innocent thought, maybe even a helpful thought, right? Wrong. It automatically sets her up to resist and get upset when it’s not easy.

The solution: Try on more productive thoughts, like: “I’m open to believing maybe it’s not supposed to be easy” and “I can do hard things.” This line of thinking leads you to acceptance, rather than resistance.

Thought #3

And the third thought: “I can’t give myself good advice [to solve this.]” Boom. She just dropped a wall between her and any potential solution, by telling herself that not only does she not have good solutions, but she also doesn’t even have her own back.

The solution: “I can’t give myself good advice” is just a fancy “I don’t know.” From here on out, don’t let yourself get away with any form of “I don’t know.” Some empowering alternatives: “Everything is figureoutable” (a signature of online business coach Marie Forleo), “Every obstacle has a strategy,” and “I don’t know yet, but I’m going to figure it out.”

What is your #1 takeaway from this post? 

A client recently told me that she had been avoiding her work blocks for her Half-Finished to Done, LIVE project—creating a musical album—because she was afraid of all of the feelings that might come up for her.

“You know,” I told her, “It’s kind of like you’re a storm chaser who’s afraid to get wet. You want to create heartfelt, real, raw music, but you don’t want to feel hard things.”

I encouraged her to play with her own metaphor if that one didn’t resonate with her, but she assured me that that one totally hit home for her.

Here’s what I realized after that call: We are all storm chasers.

Everybody who enrolls in my coaching programs is actively inviting challenge and discomfort into their lives, and so am I.

Breaking life-long habits is storm-chasing. Learning to manage procrastination. Creating something new is storm-chasing. Finishing projects is storm-chasing.

And when you chase storms, you’re gonna get rained on.

It’s like I said to my group coaching students recently: “Every single one of you has an easier route available to you than the one you’re choosing.”

But we’re not here for easy, we’re here for the hard, the pain, the growth.

So: Are you ready to head into the eye of the storm in pursuit of the next version of you?

Sending you storm-chasing thoughts,

Cristina

This is one of the most uncomfortable post I’ve ever written. Buckle up.

I am thriving during quarantine.

That sentence is true, but it fills me with embarrassment, shame, and guilt. I am literally nauseated as I write it.

A loud voice in my head is screaming “This is inappropriate to talk about.”

“You’ll make people feel bad.”

“It’s not okay to be okay when others aren’t okay.”

In the past four(ish) months, I’ve had many hard moments and a lot of tough feelings, but overall, I have thrived.

“But,” you’ll say. “You’re privileged!”

Yes! And I know many people with privilege who aren’t thriving, and many without it who are.

“But,” you’ll say. “You don’t have kids!”

Yes! And I know many people without kids who aren’t thriving, and many with kids who are.

“But,” you’ll say. “You run your own business!”

Yes! And I know many fellow business owners who aren’t thriving, and many without businesses who are.

“But,” you’ll say. “You have savings!”

Yes! And I know many people with savings who aren’t thriving, and many without savings who are.

“But,” you’ll say. “You don’t have a pre-existing mental health illness!”

Yes! And I know many people without mental health challenges who aren’t thriving, and many with mental health challenges who are.

“But,” you’ll say. “You’re not extremely extroverted!”

Yes! And I know many introverts who aren’t thriving, and many extroverts who are.

…

My point is that we focus so much on how our circumstances are different from other people’s, that we fail to see what we might be able to learn from them.

What if you asked people what’s working for them? Can you imagine what you’d learn?

Here is my hope: That all of us—regardless of where we are emotionally right now—put down our guilt, shame, and embarrassment, and pick up curiosity and connection instead.

Sending you many good thoughts,

Cristina

P.S. I 1000% believe it’s also okay to not be okay right now. In my world, however, that is the prominent narrative, which is why I wanted to share the other side. I support you wherever you are ❤️

In an upcoming post, I’ll be sharing some of my methods for managing quarantine. (One of those methods is using the Monday Hour One time blocking process, which I’ll be teaching to you all in the upcoming Monday Hour One workshops.)

As with all of my content, take what’s helpful and doable for you, leave the rest.

In my experience working with my clients, changing a procrastination habit happens in this order:

👉 First, you notice it retroactively: “I was procrastinating.”

👉Then, you notice it as it’s happening: “I’m procrastinating.”

👉 Finally, you notice it proactively: “I was about to procrastinate.”

So, I made a little something that can help you, no matter where in this process you are.

Just click here to get the 10-minute procrastination fix.

Enjoy, and report back on how it goes!

Looking for tips on how to work from home effectively, especially during this time of social distancing?

Here’s everything that I’ve written about working from home:

• 7 tips for working from home during quarantine (And no, I don’t try to shame you into wearing “real” clothes!)
• 4 tips for managers with newly-remote teams
• Make daily use of the guide for getting into a deep work state in 15 minutes

You can also check out these insanely helpful articles on Bustle:

• How to cope with loneliness if you work remotely
• How to work from home if you’ve never done it before
• 7 things people who work from home want you to know
• How to feel more connected when you work remotely

Procrastination comes in many sneaky forms, and one of those sneaky ways is long, drawn-out decision making processes.

That’s right: Spinning out on decisions and spending tons of time hemming and hawing is actually procrastination. I didn’t used to know this! 

The #1 reason that people struggle to make decisions is that they think there’s a right or wrong decision.

They fear making the wrong decision, so they make no decision at all. (Which is actually a decision, just for the record.)  

Can you relate?

That’s step one: Entertain the idea that there’s no right or wrong decision; just the decision that you make, love, and go all in on. 

Want more?  

Here is everything I know about effective decision making, in one place:

• The first step in every decision making process
• How to use “information gathering mode” to make better decisions
• How to make better decisions [podcast episode that combines the two posts above]
• The power of a pro/pro list
• Temptations vs opportunities

Enter: The pro/pro list

Do you have an upcoming decision that you need to make? If so, I wanted to share with you an exercise that I’ve been doing with my clients. It’s called the pro/pro list.

A pro/con list is based on the assumption that there’s a right decision or a wrong decision, and this way of thinking keeps people stuck in indecision; fearful of making the wrong decision.

I want you to try on this thought: What if there’s no right decision, just a decision that I love and go all in on?

A pro/pro puts your brain to work thinking about creating opportunities, instead of mitigating risks. Put another way, it focuses your brain on potential positive outcomes.

It teases your brain with the idea that any decision could turn out well.

Here’s how to make a pro/pro list:

Get out a sheet of paper and a pen, and write both of your options at the top of the paper. Starting with the first option, write down every single reason that it’s a complete no-brainer to choose this option. Keep generating reasons until you’re 100% convinced that this option is of course the best option.

If you surface any cons, think about them like this: Cons as just obstacles that you can proactively strategize for. Strategies are opportunities to work on something new. Your strategies go back on your list as pros. 

Then, do the same with the second option. Write down every single reason that the second option is a complete no-brainer. Keep generating reasons until you’re 100% convinced that this option is of course the best option.

At this point, most people will hit me with this objection: “But if they’re both great options, then I’ll end up more confused.” I hear you, but stick with me.

Once you have both lists of incredible reasons, study them. Which reasons do you like best?

Your choice should be glaringly obvious at this point. If it’s not: Go back to your two options, generating even more reasons why they’re each worthwhile.

Here’s the crazy irony: 

The more that I work with clients on their pro/pro list about the decision to join one of my programs—so, to spend time, energy, and money to coach with me, or to spend that time, energy, and money on something else incredible—the more they decide to invest in coaching.

All of the sudden, they move from paralysis, confusion, and fear of making the wrong choice, to a full, deep understanding that they’re in control and that any choice they make can pan out perfectly for them.

On a recent client consult call, Ben* told me that part of the reason he procrastinates on creating his new online business is because the prospect of change is so damn uncomfortable.

After we chatted for a while, I asked him, “Wanna know the great news? You’re already freaking uncomfortable.”

This is what I call the Discomfort Catch-22.

Not going toward your dreams is uncomfortable, but the prospect of going toward your dreams also feels uncomfortable.

The Discomfort Catch-22 applies to anything in your life that you don’t yet have: A new dream job, a thriving online business, an intimate romantic relationship, a supportive community, a fun hobby.

Change is tough to stomach, but staying stagnant is, too.

Acknowledging the Discomfort Catch-22 is often a breakthrough moment for clients. Why? If you’re choosing between comfort and discomfort, a lot of us will default to comfort. But when you change your perspective and acknowledge that you’re actually choosing between discomfort and discomfort, many of us get our butts into gear.

So, here’s my invitation to you:

Choose. Choose unintentionally uncomfortable not pursuing your goals, or intentionally uncomfortable in the pursuit of them. There’s no right or wrong answer (genuinely), but one ends with a pretty cool, fun result of goal achievement.

You’re going to feel like crap 50% of the time, so in my opinion, you might as well be creating cool shit along the way.